WORTH REPEATING â—½ MARRIAGE
That's Not My Husband
by Lynn Cherry
I remember back when we were first married, when I compared myself to others because that’s what young wives do, right? In that cesspool of comparisons, I also at times compared my husband to other men. Comparing ourselves among ourselves is not wise, so we read, but most of us do it anyway…and suffer the consequences of poor self-image and discontentment with the blessings that we have.
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One time I looked at guys who dressed up for work in suits, how pressed and distinguished they looked! For a moment, I wished I had a guy who looked dapper on the way to work instead of heading off with tools in hand…
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But that’s not my husband.
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I do remember observing other couples and hearing the quiet way their husbands spoke, and wondered if their homes were quiet, peaceful, and if he always was the calm, demure young man he appeared to be in public. I wished my spouse had a lower decibel when he spoke, because his voice boomed even when he tried to whisper…
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But that’s not my husband.
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There were times when I even assumed some of the guys in our circle of friends made lots of money, more than we probably had, and I envied the
lifestyle they brought to their wives, one with lots of shopping for whatever and whenever. I secretly harbored disdain in my heart for the job my husband had, one that paid our bills and more. I wished he too made the bigger bucks…
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But that’s not my husband.
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I’ve been married for a few decades now, and I hope I’ve matured and adjusted my eyes’ lenses and see a bit more maturely as I look at others and mine. Oh, on occasion I still have a wandering mind that goes back to comparison, until I shift and realize such good that belongs to me, and I need to take note and recognize them – and give thanks.
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I now see a man who wears a uniform to work with pride, receives accolades for a job well done, and who is one of the smartest men I know who can fix, reconfigure, and manage any sort of building out there or our home here, and comfort my fearful heart over and over…
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That’s my husband.
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I listen to his voice that rises above the din no matter where we are, the voice that speaks encouragement to a crowd of people to love God more, and one that is heard above the noise of the discouraging world around me, and I smile…
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That’s my husband.
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I watch him work hard, I take his pay that is hard-earned, and I pay bills, I plan outings, and together our incomes meet all of our needs and more. Our lifestyle is one that is all our own, one that he enjoys immensely every day in every way, and he pulls me in toward being thankful for all that we have...
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That’s my husband.
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We can all become quickly dissatisfied with the guy sitting next to us in the car, lying beside us in the bed, or standing near us in line to eat…when we look around to see what we’re missing and what we wish we had. Or…we can choose to look in his eyes, grab his hand, and lie next to him and breathe, knowing God is good and all good gifts come from him…including our husband. With all of his uniqueness, his funny mannerisms, and his lame jokes (I forgot to mention that one!), we can choose to admire him instead of wishing he was a wax figure we could melt and remake.
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No, that’s not my husband – that guy over there.
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This is my husband – this guy right here.