SIMPLE TRUTHS â—½ ENCOURAGEMENT
Past the Point
by Marcy Lytle
Have you ever been past the point of being encouraged, or you know someone going through something horrific and they’re the same? Let me explain what I mean. It happens when life has hit us with a series of the most unfortunate kind that have rocked our world to the point of almost drowning from the deluge. I’m sure you’ve been there and/or someone you know is there now. There’s no use in throwing a lifeline, because we’re too weak to grab hold. No words of wisdom are beneficial because the sound of the storm drowns out all reason. And all other ways of rescues that have been tried before are null and void, because none are working at the moment.
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We don’t need to feel bad or guilty if we’re the one trying to encourage, or if we’re the one in need of a miracle. There are times when we are just spent and too far gone for Christian clichés or poems or verses, as our heart is in too much pain.
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This is extremely hard on the one trying to offer encouragement, because she just wants to help. And it’s the worst for the one in need of encouragement, because she just can’t listen to one more promise of hope when her world has caved in around her.
photo courtesy of Doug Gephardt
I’ve been on the end of offering encouragement and saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, offering songs because they’ve helped me but I don’t know if they will really relate to my friend’s situation, or even quoting verses of the truth about God’s love and promises, but only to realize that the person on the other end if past the point of encouragement. And honestly, I’ve been there a few times myself.
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So what should we do if we’re on either end of this spectrum?
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If we are the one offering the encouragement, it might be the best thing to just listen. Be there. Let that friend unload and cry and scream, and we say nothing. It might be that prayer is the best thing, until that friend reaches out for some sort of help. It might mean just delivering a tray of food without asking questions, just dropping it off with an “I love you” note. It might just mean a text to remind them that they are loved. It may seem like these are “nothing” but when that person is past the point of encouragement, it’s the foundation of a friend that will carry them until the storm subsides and the heart is open again.
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And we don’t have to get discouraged because we can’t “fix” our friend in need. That’s not our job. Nor do we have to carry their load. It’s too heavy for anyone but Him…
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If we are the one in need of encouragement but we are past the point of receiving anything from anyone, we can rest in knowing it’s okay. We don’t have to “buck up” or raise ourselves up, when we can’t even lift our heads. There are times where life is like this, and it’s just hard. That’s all there is to it. Questions and chaos are in our minds and hearts, and faith is weak, and we really can’t see anything past our nose. We need to let go of all expectations of ourselves to be what a “good Christian” ought to be while we just simply remember Christ is with us. He’s in our boat. And he’s probably asleep because he isn’t worried. We won’t be able to take comfort in that, but it’s okay. The storm will subside until the next one comes.
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We live in an area where this time of year the hurricanes that form in the oceans could head our way and offer rain; but if they will miss us altogether, we end up high and dry. But we cannot sit glued to the weather channel in fear that one will emerge and kill us. I don’t know of anyone that does that, unless maybe they’ve experienced loss in one before. Then of course they do! But we know that every summer they form. And we may see on the news where flooding occurs and people have to be carried out in boats, after losing everything they have.
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Storms are in the forecast. They’re seasonal. They wreak havoc. And when we’re in the path of one we are past the point of looking up and hearing that friend tell us we’ll be okay, or they’ve been through it before, or God will provide. We can’t hear it. And if we’re the friend on the other side of town where the storm missed completely, it’s not helpful at times to run to aid with our platitudes and our formulas of how we prepared for and missed the storm. That’s not helpful.
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There is hope, always. Nothing can separate us from the love of God, nothing. And those anchors won’t give way even when we are barely hanging on for dear life in the deafening roar of the wind. They won’t. If our hearts belong to Him. And they do, when we believe and receive His love as our Father and Savior.
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This world and how to navigate it didn’t come with instructions, and just like with new appliances, sometimes the instructions don’t work anyway, because there’s a malfunction in the design, or a part is missing. However, no parts are missing, there is an instruction manual, and His guide tells us the end result of the times we’ve gone past encouragement. His mercies and compassion are new every morning and they never fail. Never.
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So if you’re the one trying to encourage, let it go, and just love and let Him do his work. And if you’re the one that can’t see for the rain, just close your eyes and let the storms roll, knowing others are praying and He is with you IN the storm. It’s sometimes the simple and plainest answer to give ourselves – to just be.