I had been feeling discouraged about my novel writing, wondering if this was ever God’s calling on my life since my book sales are meager (I know that’s not an accurate indicator of God’s will).

 

I often fall into the trap of not feeling respected and “less than” because what I do is not financially lucrative. It makes me feel invisible to the world and to those around me.

 

That’s when the email hit. I received another rejection letter from a literary agent who said my novel was lacking (but in a nice form-letter-like way) and needed professional (editing) help. My book was “less than,” just like me.

 

I was devastated because I thought this agent was a good fit for me and my novel. I wanted to quit writing fiction. My current work in progress, The Mid-Century Breakfast Club, might be the last novel I would ever write.

 

My devastation stuck with me and morphed into a thick covering of grey sadness. But I went about my day, praying, whining, and crying out to God in my mind, heart, and soul.

 

That night, during one of our bi-weekly trips to Planet Fitness, I figured I would listen to our new album while I worked my way through the 30-minute circuit of machines. The first song on the album is “Gratitude.”

 

It hit me and washed over me that I needed to be grateful during my sad times. God showed me all the times He was with me, and that He is always with me.

 

I remembered that one of the devotionals talked about crying out to God in distress as David did in the Psalms. God wants me to be honest with Him, and I don’t need to paste on a smile and pretend that everything is okay. He knows the truth anyway. He knows my heart and my mind. He knows how I feel. He knows the end from the beginning.

 

I love that God used one of my songs to minister to me, the lyrics of which I carefully crafted almost two years ago. It’s both humbling and comforting. He is good like that.

 

Today, God showed me how He has encouraged me to write fiction. He reminded me of all the women He has reached through the books He gave me. He showed me the excellent writers’ group He brought me to through a friend from my church and how much I have learned each month.

 

Through a 15-minute Bible teaching on Spotify from Joyce Meyer, I learned to let go of my worries, particularly about how I was going to get my books out in the world, and that if God called me to do a work, He would give me the anointing to do it. He will provide a way for it that is according to His purpose for the work.

 

So, I relaxed into God’s words and stopped worrying about getting an agent or a publisher. He would guide me to what is needed in His timing.

 

A huge weight lifted off me. I hope I can remember this lesson the next time I start to worry about my writing “career” and instead see it as His calling on me. He is my Agent, and my Publisher. I just need to be faithful to sit down and write. He helps me with that too.

 

So, how can I be “less than” when I have been made more than a conqueror through Christ Who loves me (please see Romans 8:37)!?! Not possible. I need to remember that.

 

God is good. I will say it again and again.

 

Blessings to you!

 

Angela Dolbear is the author of contemporary Christian novels, such as THE GARDEN KEY Series and THE TORMENTOR’S TALE, as well as many short stories. Her novels are available on Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook formats. Angela writes real, relatable, and reverent fiction. She loves reading, writing prose, and writing and recording music with her husband Tim in their studio in Nashville, TN—listen to her new album STORMS on your favorite music streaming service.  Please drop by and sign up for news, read new stories, and hear new original music at http://www.angeladolbear.com/subscribe.htm. Blessings to you!