COUSIN MOMS â—½ TIPS
Parenting causes exhaustion, moms and dads feel overwhelmed, and all of us run to something to help relieve the chaos…but what is it? What causes that overwhelming feeling and where should we run to, for hope and peace? We asked, and the cousin moms answered…
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Charissa
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It is amazing how much our culture is always on the go. There are so many commitments and so much to do, lots of pressure from social media, and it can all be very overwhelming. As a mom of three little girls, it adds a complexity to all the responsibilities of motherhood, being a wife and employee, and provider, etc.
Three things I do when I feel heavy and overwhelmed:
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First, the thing that gives me peace, is being still with God. Without that, anxiety and pressure creeps back up. But if I take a few minutes to open my Bible and read, I feel lighter. This is where I always start, in prayer and submission to Him and His Word.
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Secondly, I talk with my husband. It may not be until 10pm when catch our breath, but when on the sofa rubbing each other’s feet, and unwinding, I often pour out
myself. I let my husband know what’s on my heart. Other weeks, there is no time for that, so we do try to schedule it. When this is missing, I feel the pressures again. Conversation helps.
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Thirdly, exercise and being mobile and out there is a priority for me. The physical and spiritual, I try to take care of both. When I don’t get a walk in, I don’t feel good. Even just a brisk five minute walk, outside, and moving my body, makes my brain and attitude elevated.
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I think Erika Kirk said it so amazingly in her memorial to all women, and that is, “We are the guardians, we are the encouragers, we are the preservers. Guard your heart. Everything you do flows from it.” Sometimes, we do put a lot of pressure on ourselves, as women. But our strength is found in His design for us. Spending time with Him enables us to fulfill our roles better.
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We had a lady’s night of worship last night, and we heard that another role we often take on is that “we” are the ones to carry things through. But we aren’t enough in ourselves. God provides enough for us. He is our strength and guides when we are overwhelmed.
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Kamrin
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A lot of prayer
A lot of seeking for wisdom
A lot of letting go
A lot of the Word
A group of friends
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This season of life is very different. Every season of having kids is exhausting. Our three kids are ages 10-13 and we have what I call “praying” scenarios. Of course, we pray over our kids at every age, but at the ages of our kids we are already “releasing” our kids in certain areas. We want them to be independent in their relationship with Christ and in life, when they exit our homes.
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Our kids are starting to be involved in events, on sports teams, with friends, etc. and away from our present care. We do a lot of praying! Our exhaustion level and where I get overwhelmed the most is worrying that my kids will get hurt, or end up in a situation they didn’t mean to be, or they will fail…and Mom won’t be there! They may have to make hard decisions that aren’t black and white, and that’s overwhelming emotionally.
We’re not physically doing what we did when they were younger, but we are full of emotions as parents!
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While we are jam-packed with activities, it’s the emotional part of parenting that creates exhaustion. Each of our kids is different, and the things they experience are different. They all handle things differently, too. Our two oldest are only 17 months apart and handle the same things in very different ways, and that’s overwhelming, as these things happen all at the same time.
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That’s not just in worry about kids, I get overwhelmed about my own capabilities as a mom – did I parent well, put too much pressure, or am I doing too much, am I trying to fix it all, etc. It’s hard to let go and to be okay if my kids fail. I just hate to see their heartbreak. Of course, we want the kids to know we are here for them, but they need to hear God and read the Word personally. Calendars are full, but it’s emotional watching my kids as they grow towards the teen years. We have deep and wonderful conversations, and we pray over their minds and ask God to speak to the kids, personally.
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I find the most strength, when I am overwhelmed, in worship and prayer, to be intentional about it. Sometimes worries that haven’t even happened yet come to mind. But it’s amazing how God works and grows us as parents, and grows our kids. Sometimes, I wish I had half the confidence my kids have!
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Of course, there are a few Instagram accounts that I appreciate their encouragement – Her True Worth, Proverbs 31 Woman, etc. But my strength, comfort and peace do not come from podcasts and books. We were recently challenged to see what the first thing we go to is – before we open the Word. It should be mostly the Word and not an app. Those snippets bring brief encouragement, but not peace. I’ve been sitting in Philippians again – the peace that passes all understanding – because raising my kids is hard, and they ask hard questions!
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Finally, I have some wonderful friends and we each have very different lifestyles, and maybe we only visit once a quarter. However, we Marco Polo daily and encourage each other has we talk and pray over things together. I have been so grateful for friends that walk through mud and on top of the mountains with me.