I DON'T DO TEENAGERS â—½ HOME
Kids of the teenage kind think a lot about the word “beautiful” rather we realize it or not. It seems that most girls by this age hope to be beautiful, so they start this quest and angst of trying to look beautiful on the outside by their shape, their hair, their clothes, their makeup – so that the boys will like them. And it seems the boys are starting to notice the girls, and they might be attracted only to the ones that look beautiful on the outside. So now, this teenage time of life, is a good time to talk about real beauty.
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Beautiful on social media is connected with looking sexy…and that’s attractive to our kids…if their self-worth is in how they look. So, how do we as parents shift their worth to all things beautiful on the inside?
Terminology
We can make the effort to use the word beautiful to describe what we see on the inside instead of the outside. Practice this in front of the kids. Ask them to look for the beauty and compliment it, perhaps once a week on a specific night. Maybe you saw her helping her little brother with his school work, call it beautiful. Or Dad recalls that Mom stayed up late one night making mums for homecoming – call it beautiful - the way she served.
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Affirmation
Use God’s word to affirm each other often, to encourage and uplift, so that our kids aren’t seeking for affirmation from others all the time. Leave words of affirmation on sticky notes, tucked into their backpacks, scriptures of how God sees them and loves them written on their bathroom mirrors, everywhere they go!
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Confession
Spend time with the kids where they’re allowed and encouraged to confess the way they view themselves and others. Maybe your daughter is self-conscious about her height or weight, or the color of her hair. Maybe your son is tempted to look at girls and talk with friends about the way she looks or walks or how she moves. Invite your kids to share, and pray with them.
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Eyes
We all have eyes that wander and then our hearts and bodies follow. If our kids are on social media and observing what beauty is from that stream, they will mimic what they see. If the movies and shows they watch are full of lust and outward terms of beautiful, their minds will be full of that. And if we let our own eyes and minds and actions present to our kids that beauty is skin deep and skin is what really matters, our kids will follow suit.
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It might be worth spending a little time together as a family on what is true beauty, and to visit this topic often. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with seeing the beauty on the outside, but it should only be a small part of seeing the total picture. And constantly chasing after beauty is a tiresome task, one that never ends at the pot of a rainbow, but only a rainbow that’s here today for a second…and gone tomorrow.