SEVEN FOR YOU â—½ TIPS
A Hard Thanks
Our Panel of Women
It’s easy to give thanks for all the good things…and we should! But it’s not so easy to give thanks for the hard times…until maybe lots of time has passed. We asked the panel to share some “hard thanks” this month, to encourage us all that all things really do work together for good, even if it doesn’t seem like any good is to be found in the middle of the pain.
It's hard to stand tall when your knees want to give way
When lying on the floor curled and weeping is calling you
When standing tall has not lifted you any higher
Or caused the tears to cease
Why do we think that standing tall makes it all go away
That it makes the regrets and sins of our past simply melt?
Let me find my way in self-pity
Let me count my failures if I choose
My edges feel raw and so they are, from disappointment
Scratching and chipping and yelling at me…”You Lose”
Losing is in me…it seems to be my other middle name
We are taught to smile and stand tall, keep the outside
perfect to show off
I’m not alone
So many others curled on the floor behind doors
Without the masks we wear on Sundays in our fancy dress
So I want to reach The Others.
To shout
“Let us be
The imperfect, the good as we can be, the way we were
Created, just a bit broken, like the world
Like His son who wanted Love not just on Sundays
Like His son wept for us
We can weep”
I’ll stand tall when the world sees us not in images of airbrush and plastic pages
I’ll stand tall when scars are badges of honor
I’ll stand tall when hiding our pain is not mandatory for being human
I’ll stand tall when I’m ready or maybe never
Maybe never is just human too.
My daughter says I’m resilient. She penned it on a card she sent me. I look at it every day.
​
I don’t always feel I live up to the term especially three years ago when I wrote the above poem.
​
I was struggling with my health and facing two surgeries. In the ER/Hospital more times than I cared to be. It was just a matter of when the surgeon could schedule them.
​
One early morning phone call challenged me more than I had been challenged before.
​
My daughter 1400 miles away suffered a stroke. She was 27 years old. The fear, the adrenaline rush, the tears…all of it crushing me.
Somehow, you do what needs to be done…pack your bag and get on the plane. Lots of thoughts flashed through my mind, the “what ifs” and “should have dones.” The plane couldn’t get me there any faster and so the time dragged on.
​
My child made it through brain surgery. And when she was able to speak, she told me about the dream she had. She saw three angels hovering over her. One was her grandmother; one was her great great Aunt (both passed on) and the last angel she was not able to identify. They gave her comfort and told her she would be okay.
​
There were so many angels looking after my child, her best friend who saved her life, the surgeon who worked miracles, the retired military general who gave her comfort (he was recovering from a stroke too) and a random encounter at a restaurant. My daughter was recovering and wanted soup. I ordered soup for her and the young man filled my order and then looked at me, left, and came back with a box of cookies. I didn’t order cookies. He held my hand, and said, “These are for your daughter, I hope they help.” How did he know?
​
God challenges us and shakes us up a bit; we need to be shaken. We need to know that we are imperfect, but from that imperfection comes strength.
​
I am thankful for all of this…for miracles, for kindness, for my child, and the love of strangers – Cathy
I thought I had it hard growing up in a pastor's home. There was such a long list of "don't do this" that I had a hard time having any fun in life at all. It seemed as though everything I wanted to do was a sin, i.e. go to the movies! I equated God with the no-fun Father with a hard hand. And I carried that bitterness toward my parents for a long time. But as I now have had children and they are raising theirs, I realize that my parents protected me from lots of "junk" in the world. They did the best they knew how with their skill set, and their knowledge of what it meant to follow God. And God was faithful to bring me along into a relationship with Him that is fun, loving, and freeing...in spite of that hard and restrictive childhood I thought was so bad...I’m truly thankful. – Marcy
During our 46 years of marriage, the management of our cars was my husband's “thing.” I HATED CAR PROBLEMS!! As he was in the hospital undergoing those awful cancer treatments, he researched and purchased a follow-on extended warranty for my then fairly new car, so that I wouldn't have to worry about the upkeep, should it have a problem. He even managed having better tires than those which came from the factory put on the car from his hospital bed.
It's been five years this month since he passed, and to date, I've not paid one single dime for the maintenance of this car. The policy just expired this month and I'm now researching the feasibility of purchasing another, because it's what he would do if he could. I'm so thankful for this blessing from the Lord, in providing such peace of mind in such a difficult time. – Debbie
Recently, I was a vendor at the Texas Oklahoma Fair selling my books. I had never done this event before and probably won’t do it again but for some reason this time I did. And I’m glad! I didn’t sell many books, but I did talk to lots of people that I wouldn’t have gotten the chance to talk to at my other events. One young couple really touched my heart. They were probably no more than 20 years old, and they walked up to my table and started asking questions. They were surprised to hear that my writing started with sharing about my momma’s death when I was a little girl. And how it was so hard for me when I lost her and was thrown into many horrible situations. They asked more questions, and I answered. I was able to tell them about our wonderful Heavenly Father and how He’s always with us, helping and protecting us, and that my books are really all about Him. For some reason, that I do not know, the young woman started to have tears almost immediately.
​
The young man looked at me and bluntly asked, “How do you know for sure? How do you really know when God comes into your heart?” The girl was nodding behind him with her tears wanting to know, also. I thought, wow God, I know why I’m here. This opened the conversation up for me to tell them all about losing Momma, about the different homes I had lived in, and about the horrible day that led to the moment of me asking Jesus into my heart. I told them about realizing my sinfulness and how I felt the Holy Spirit that very moment. I also told them my momma always told me one day I would know when I needed to do this. They both had tears by this time. And then, I told them about being thankful to God for everything I’d gone through, including losing my momma, because I wouldn’t be there talking, and sharing with them, if Momma hadn’t died.
​
God had His plan in motion for my life and it included everything I went through. It still does. I know something was on their hearts. And I hope God used me that day to help them. They went on to sign my prayer book, took a business card, and assured me they would buy a book online. As they walked away, I smiled to myself, and thanked God for everything and for the opportunities He gives me like that one. – Carole
My dad went through radiation and chemo for 18 months before passing away with lung cancer. He and my mom lived 90 miles from us and the cancer treatment clinic. During the various stages of treatment they would stay overnight with us or stay for a meal before driving home. During his final months, the treatments and hospitalizations got much more frequent. There’s nothing that makes time stand still like sitting in a hospital room holding someone’s hand. My mom and I were beside his bed when he took his last breath. It was a precious moment. During those months I had three kids under 12, a job, an active church presence, and a busy life. There were moments and days I thought I would crumble. But the prayers of many devoted friends sustained me. I am very thankful to have been able to walk the path with him and my mom to the very end. It was a true blessing. – Shelley
In 2010 my sister graduated to her heavenly home, dying from terminal cancer. She had been taking care of our 92 year old mom who could no longer live alone. So, I moved my mom to my home, quit my job and cared for Mom as best I could until she passed, a year and a half later. It was a difficult time that was physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting. But, the time I got to spend with my mom was truly a gift. Our relationship grew and I feel like I was able to give back after all she had done for me over the years. It was a true blessing to my life and I am thankful. - Gina