PRACTICAL PARENTING â—½ HOME
At the Table
by Marcy Lytle
It’s Thanksgiving month, where families will gather around a large table. Maybe the kids will be at their own table, or maybe they’ll be mixed in with the adults. But either way, it’s always a good time to go over and encourage the art of conversing with family members. It might even be good to practice before they all arrive on a few nights during dinner, before Turkey Day. Here are some ideas on how to develop that art from the young to the old…
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All together at one table:
Note the grandparents first. Encourage the littles to ask grandparents questions and talk about school or their friends, or see what their grandparents have been doing! The older generation has lots of good stories to share!
​Remember to chew and swallow first, before talking. No one wants to see that half eaten turkey in your mouth!
Adults and parents need to steer clear of controversial topics that might cause arguments at the table. Thanksgiving memories need to be pleasant ones, not full of fighting words.
Parents and grandparents can be aware of the littles at the table and engage them in conversation, so that the adults aren’t just talking over the heads of the kiddos.
And a fun idea is to place a question under the plate of each person, to be read and answered during dessert!
Kids at another table:
Remind the kids that dinner is not the place for loud laughing and noises. It’s the time to ask cousins and siblings how they’re doing, and to really listen.
The kids could bring a Thanksgiving joke to the table and have it ready for asking, once dinner is served.
Kids need to be refreshed on being courteous, not critical, of other kids at the table. Complimenting each other and smiling, instead of poking fun and teasing is the way to go.
If kids have a need to ask an adult a question at the other table, they don’t shout, but rather quietly get up and whisper in Mom’s or Dad’s ears.
Guests who aren’t family, invited in:
If your family has new folks at the table, ones that are perhaps new to the community, or a neighbor, or from another country:
Make guests feel welcome by serving them first and telling them how happy you are they’re with you.
Using good manners in voice and eating habits tells your guests that you respect them as new friends.
Maybe share stories of funny things at holidays, like when the turkey burned or an entire dish was forgotten and left in the oven. Keep conversation light and smile-inducing.
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What else would you add, this Thanksgiving? It’s always a good idea to remind the kids, let them know what’s expected, and then demonstrate it all at the table before the day arrives. In fact, it’s a good idea to demonstrate the art of good conversation during dinner…all year long.