PRACTICAL PARENTING â—½ HOME
Include the Kids
by Marcy Lytle
I remember hearing over and over again when I was raising my kiddos that quality time was more important than quantity time. And it was often said to and by working moms, to ease their guilt and make them feel better about having to be gone all day from their children. And I get it. We are all working moms in some form or another, and it seems that days are endlessly filled with housework and preparing meals and all of the maintenance of a family, so it’s hard to know if we’re spending enough time with our kids. Especially, if our kids are now in sports and music and theater and all the things!
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Maybe we just need to be reminded that we’re doing our best, and be offered some practical ways to include our kids so that quality time is right there in the living and the doing and the busyness, and how to purpose to make it so:
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If we’re cleaning house, we can put on music and let the kids take turns choosing the songs, while everyone does their part. Dance and smile, and make it a family time like no other.
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If we’re paying bills and making schedules at our desk, we ask the kids to bring their books and sit with us while they do homework, in a circle with pillows all around, and a snack in the middle for all to enjoy.
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If we’re making meals in the kitchen, making sure everyone gets fed, and then the cleanup awaits, we can delegate. Moms, we can delegate! Assign the oldest
kid the job of making a chore chart when it comes to meal time, where kids rotate on the help they give – one sets the table, one removes the dishes, one rinses and places in dishwasher, one helps prep the veggies, etc. and include Dad in that rotation as well!
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If we’re overwhelmed and need a day to clean closets everywhere in the house, we can make it a family affair and a day to be remembered. We can hand the kids boxes that are labeled – throw away, give away, keep – and write down what we expect from each kid and let them check it off. Maybe it says: sort your clothes and put them away, place every toy where it goes, pick three things to donate, dust and vacuum. At every hour mark (or 30 minutes or 15!) ring a bell and have everyone come to the hallways and jump up and down and scream, then go back to the closet!
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If we’re stressed and need quiet time we can gather the family and tell them, “Mom needs quiet time, and so do you!” Tell everyone to grab a blanket or pillow and/or a book and head to a corner or a spot (no arguing allowed) and set the timer for 30 minutes or more, when no sounds or movement are allowed except the turning of a page or click of an iPad.
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If our bags and totes and our cars are full of junk, we can all an emergency plan to organize and reset once again! The family brings in everything from the car. Dad and/or the oldest kids are assigned to vacuuming the car, and the others help mom unload totes, etc. And to celebrate a job well done, the family piles in the car for a trip for ice cream. Yes, in winter, spring, summer or fall – ice cream for all.
In other words, we can include the kids in the mundane, in the things that make us tense, in the family clutter, and teach them how to maintain and still have fun and be together and live.
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And then when all that quantity time has produced some order, we can have quality time in peace.
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Sounds like a dream, doesn’t it? Enlist your family’s help and make this dream come true.